Safe, Healed, Whole

A mantra for healing

Safe Healed Whole

I am hesitant to share too much of my personal story behind my divorce. I want to be very respectful of my children’s father. I also don’t feel quite ready to open up about what still feels very raw. I am healing from a very traumatic experience; and I need more time to sit with it and process it. Many people are going through things that are extremely painful. Whether it is a divorce, a death, a miscarriage, a move, or a scary diagnosis, it is important to find an anchor or a constant that can be helpful while navigating distress.

I have a few meditation teachers who have been very impactful in my life. One of them is David Romanelli. David and I met years ago when I went to film the first MTV Yoga DVD at Pointe Tapatio Cliffs in Arizona. David owned At One Yoga studio at the time with Ian Lopatin (Ian went on to start the clothing line Spiritual Gangster). We needed a rehearsal space to work on the flow we would be filming and we used At One. David has a very warm energy and also a great sense of humor. After meeting him, I stayed in touch.

After David and Ian sold At One, David started leading yoga and chocolate retreats (one of which I attended and loved), writing books (he has three and I highly recommend all), and creating meditations. I immediately signed up to receive his daily recordings. David uses his everyday experiences as well as world events to create a story before he drops into his guided meditations. I’d wake up and listen to one every day. Eventually, my oldest son, Timothy, and I would listen to one every night as we were falling asleep. David is the one to whom I owe a lot of my mantra based meditations. I fell in love with hearing an affirmation that could really help me get through the tough stuff and celebrate the good stuff even more.

One mantra I particularly love is Safe, Healed, Whole. It is a simple yet very powerful mantra to use when dealing with hardship. Feeling SAFE is very important for us as human beings. We are programmed to defend ourselves from harm. I go out of my way to create a safe and loving environment for my boys. It is important for us to create a safe and loving environment for ourselves as well. When we have been through something that harms or hurts us emotionally or physically, it is hard to feel comfortable. I can’t go to bed at night without locking every door and setting an alarm system. How do we lock out the noise in our heads that can spiral into fear? We need to repeat something that reminds us we are safe inside. We can turn our thoughts of doom into thoughts of peace. We can let go of what it was that scared us in the past; and work towards creating an environment that helps us feel more at ease.

Healing is an ongoing process. We can never be the same after a traumatic experience; but when we say to ourselves we are HEALED we are already embodying a healthier mindset. We tell our nervous system that our cells are breathing new life. We live from a place of empowerment instead of weakness. When our bodies or minds are ailing, it’s difficult to imagine them healed; but the more we repeat the outcome we want to have, the more likely it is to happen. We become our thoughts. To be healed is to return to a sound state. We may still have bruises or scars; but we have come back to our center. We can be more present when we are healed. We reconnect to our bodies and we have a better relationship with ourselves.

The more we hone our relationship with ourselves, the more WHOLE we become. We can’t fully step into ourselves when we are disconnected from parts of us. We are all more than just our thoughts. We are also our bodies, our emotions and our spirituality. All these things combine to give us identity, determine our health, and make us who we are. Meditation gives us the opportunity to connect our minds, bodies and souls. The more we tap in, the safer we feel, we heal at a very deep level and we feel more integrated and whole. I have to admit I felt very fragmented after I filed for my divorce. My identity was changing, I was navigating big, scary issues and I often wanted to avoid many things. I used my meditation and this mantra in particular to keep coming back to myself and to what I know is my truth.

The universe is always listening. I woke up wondering what to write about today and this mantra and idea came to mind. Ironically as I was eating my salad later, the message on the outside container said something similar, “You are safe, You are healed, You are home.” I then went to a Pilates class and met a friend who was just diagnosed with breast cancer. I shared the mantra with her and we shared a big hug. While we work on establishing a safe, healthy, unified environment within ourselves, we also create a safer, healthier, more unified world. At the end of the day, we all want to feel wholesome, secure and loved. We can start by fostering those qualities in ourselves and then spread that energy into the greater consciousness.